


Tanksgiving

by AphoticAmaranth



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 09:39:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16720911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AphoticAmaranth/pseuds/AphoticAmaranth
Summary: You get a tank! And you get a tank! Everyone gets a tank!





	Tanksgiving

“Okay, everyone!” Monika announced. “Happy tanksgiving!”

“Thanksgiving…” Yuri corrected her.

“No, I really meant ‘tanks-giving’. I’m not Sayori, after all.” Monika insisted.

The clubroom trembled, and the wall collapsed with a resounding boom, revealing a tank. The tank was half the size of the clubroom, and had more than enough space for several people to comfortably ride in it. Large metal plating adorned its body, giving it an imposing appearance. The tank had been painted mostly black, except for its front, which had a teenage boy's face painted onto it, with tempered glass windows for his eyes. But the most notable feature was the large Mechanical Cannon at the top of the tank, in between the two circular doors.

“Behold! The wonders of modern technology, Military Car! Featuring incredibly dense and impenetrable armour that can block any attack, and the most powerful cannon in the world, capable of extending up to a hundred meters and penetrating any armour!” Monika explained the features of the tank, as the rest of the club listened attentively. And then everyone clapped. Including Monika.

“Truly, a vehicle for the players! You get a tank! And you get a tank! Everyone gets a tank!” Monika excitedly exclaimed, pointing at everyone.

“Wait a minute…” Yuri mumbled to herself. “If the armour is impenetrable, and the cannon can penetrate any armour…”

Before Yuri could complete her thoughts, Sayori interrupted her. “Yay~! Tank you Monika, very cool!”

“Okay, everyone! Let's go for a thanksgiving dinner!” Monika gently opened the door of the tank, and everyone entered. It was harder for Yuri to fit through the door due to her poor reading posture, but she eventually managed to squeeze through.

Monika tried to drive the tank down the stairs, but the stairs were too small. She reversed the tank, and turned it to face the wall. She looked to the rest of the club. “Natsuki… Yuri… Sayori! Yeah! You're sitting the closest to the weapon controls. Help me, Sayori! Blast a Hole in Wall!”

Sayori stared at the many buttons before her, unsure of what to make of them.

“... Sayori? Are you okay?”

“I can probably do this, I think!” Sayori exclaimed. She closed her eyes and randomly pressed one of the buttons.

The cannon extended to its full length, knocking the wall down. “It's something…” Monika shrugged. She drove the tank through where the wall once was, and landed on the ground floor.

They soon reached a restaurant, and were about to get out of the tank, when suddenly, a waiter ran to the front door and changed the ‘open’ sign to ‘closed’. Everyone ran out of the restaurant screaming and panicking.

“What the hell?!”

“What is that thing?!”

“Who put tank in a mall?!”

Monika smiled sadly, and drove away. “There's nothing to do here anymore. I'll drive you all home.”

As they approached Natsuki’s house, they noticed an old man wandering about outside, with a bottle of beer in one hand and jumper cables in the other. He took a large gulp of beer, spilling a lot of it on the floor. The bottle slipped out of his hand and crashed to the floor, shattering into several pieces.

“Fucking Natsukinnnnnn” he shouted, his speech slurred. “I will beat the shit out of you!” He flailed his arms about wildly and lumbered around aimlessly.

Everyone stared in shock at the drunkard for a moment. Sayori was the first to react. “No one beats the shit out of my dearest friends!” She studied the buttons in front of her, trying to decide which one to press, but Natsuki stopped her.

“Hey, he’s my dad, I’ll do it.” Natsuki walked over to the controls, looking equally confused. “Why are these controls so complicated? Freaking Monika…”

Monika retrieved a folded sheet of paper from her pocket and tried to hand it to Natsuki, but Natsuki refused to take it. “I-It’s not like I need instructions or anything, dummy!” She continued staring at the controls for a few minutes, before finally giving up. “What are you doing? Can you at least tell me what each button does?”

“Who was it who told me not to help? Yeah, yeah… I got this.” Monika sighed and gave Natsuki the paper. Natsuki held it to her face with both arms, reading it out loud.

“Concentrate your mind… mutter a battle cry tenderly… Aim at someone you don’t like with the direction keys… Unleash your annihilation of love with the big red shiny button! Don’t let the others know I wrote this, okay? Just pretend like I gave you a really good poem, okay?”

Natsuki returned the instructions to Monika. “Your poem was not _that_ great…” she said, while crossing her arms and turning away. She aimed the cannon at her dad, yelled “AAAAAAAA!”, and then she pushed that button, just like Monika told her.

A large missile shot out from the cannon, hitting Natsuki’s dad directly in the face before harmlessly collapsing to the ground. He looked around in confusion, before finally noticing the missile. He picked up the missile with one arm and beat it with jumper cables. “Natsuki! You’re a bad girl and need to be punished!”

Each strike on the missile echoed out, and Natsuki flinched, visibly disturbed. After several lashings, the missile suddenly exploded, sending Natsuki’s dad flying. When he landed, his neck had been tilted by 90 degrees, and blood was oozing out of his orifices.

“Yay~!” Natsuki cheered. “I did it! I’m the best, after all! Anyway, now that my house is safe, we can have our thanksgiving dinner at my place… But it’s not because I wanted to bake for you all or anything like that, dummy!”

And so, Natsuki invited her fellow club members to her house, and baked turkey flavoured cupcakes for everyone.

Everyone except MC, that is.

Despite the fact that it had been MC’s cannon that had brought about the Happy End, he was quickly forgotten. He wasn’t even considered a character, but merely a vehicle for the Dokis.


End file.
